Masters of Horror: The Black Cat (2007) Review

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(More customer reviews)As a huge "Re-Animator" fan, I really looked forward to Stuart Gordon's contribution to Showtime's "Masters of Horror" anthology series. Season One brought us "H.P. Lovecraft's Dreams in the Witch-House"--which sadly was not one of my favorites. Season Two's offering is "The Black Cat." But while I enjoyed this episode much better, I still don't know how warmly it will be embraced by those seeking out this series. Not a conventional horror story, "The Black Cat" is a historical (but fictional) account of the life of Edgar Allen Poe. The tale documents a descent into madness and its horror is derived from this--whether or not that seems entertaining may be a matter of opinion.
The episode features Jeffrey Combs (always a delight) as Poe. Struggling and impoverished, he lives in a dark and unpleasant dwelling with his ill wife. Attempting to sell his poetry to survive, he is also sinking into desperation, alcoholism and insanity. There really isn't much more plot than that--this is a story that is reliant on mood rather than narrative. Combs does well with the various aspects of Poe's dementia and there is plenty of macabre humor interspersed. Haunted by visions of his wife and menaced by household pets, there are moments of real gruesomeness and gore to be appreciated.
I enjoyed the film's literary references and setup as a fan of Poe, but some may find the beginning a bit slow. The tale takes a while to develop--but that never bothered me. The ending does maintain a frantic pace and has some great effects, but if you're a lover of animals--you might want to steer clear. Combs is a uniquely engaging actor and this is a must-see for his fans. Otherwise, I'll issue a cautious recommendation. About 3 1/2 stars for me, and that's about my average for most episodes of "Masters of Horror." KGHarris, 05/07.

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Masters of Horror - Right to Die (2007) Review

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(More customer reviews)Just what qualifies someone to be called a "Master" in the horror genre? That's a question I've asked several times in the two seasons of Showtime's "Masters of Horror" anthology series. Looking at their slate of directors, there are some obvious choices--but disappointingly the undisputed "Masters" haven't necessarily turned in the best episodes of this show. Rob Schmidt is, perhaps, one of the more dubious choices to fulfill a "Masters" criteria--his most notorious horror work is the film "Wrong Turn." And while I'm sure that film has its admirers, it is ultimately just another of countless derivations of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" complete with young couples isolated in the woods being stalked by hillbilly murderers.
"Right to Die," however, is not a bad entry in the "Masters of Horror" series. In fact, it's rather solid with an unexpected and appreciated cleverness. Martin Donovan, an indie film stalwart whose deadpan delivery I have always admired, stars as the film's protagonist. Existing in a troubled marriage, Donovan's situation goes from bad to worse as a horrible car accident puts his wife in a coma. Covered in burns, unrecognizable, and not able to live without technological intervention--the episode wrestles with whether or not Donovan should humanely let her die. Oh but there's one complication, his wife's spirit is restless. Every time her heart fails, but before she is revived, her gruesome specter is on the move seeking retribution on those that have wronged her in life.
I particularly liked the juxtaposition of the traditional horror story with the "Right to Die" political debate. That's what makes this episode unique, and there is genuine humor that is mined from this topic. The horror sequences are effective enough--if somewhat familiar. Borrowing elements from the tepid "What Lies Beneath," and even "Hellraiser," the scariness of this episode is far less inventive than the shrewd appropriation of the Right To Die controversy. But for an hour, you could do worse. The acting is solid, the effects are good--all in all, I found this to be a worthwhile episode. About 3 1/2 stars (for me, the most enjoyable episodes have only been 4 stars), this is better than you might expect from someone with such an undistinguished horror resume. KGHarris, 03/07.

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Late at night on a lonely country road, Cliff Addison (Martin Donovan of THE DEAD ZONE and WEEDS) and his wife Abby are involved in a fiery car wreck that leaves Cliff unhurt and his wife hideously burned. As Abby lies comatose, kept alive only by life support, her charred spirit seeks vengeance on those who profit from her plight including a slick attorney (Corbin Bernsen). Amidst a storm of angry relatives and pushy reporters, a controversial issue is about to take a horrific turn: Even if Cliff can now find a way to keep his wife alive, will a monstrous secret condemn him to a living hell forever?Features: Also on DVD, Right to Die Script Audio Commentary featuring Rob Schmidt Burnt Offerings: Making of Right to Die Flay-O-Trish Photo Gallery, Motion Menus

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Masters of Horror - Dario Argento - Jenifer (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)Based on an old Eerie comic illustrated by Bernie Wrightson, this is an eerie tale that plays against a number of emotions. The story starts with a police officer who sees a man try to kill a woman. He shoots the man before he can cause harm. The rescued woman is Jenifer. She has a disfigured face, a killer body, and seems unable to talk. But no sooner is the case open than the detective begins to become obsessed with Jenifer. He visits her at an asylum and decides she needs compassion and friendship so he brings her home. This causes new trouble.
With Jenifer in the house things quickly fall apart for the detective's family life. Then he discovers that Jenifer has a very active libido and has targeted him. Then more of Jenifer's nature becomes apparent as she eats the family dog. Things continue to go downhill as the detective is both repulsed by Jenifer's behavior and enslaved to her passion. The downward spiral continues until the inevitable ending.
This is one of the best of the Master Of Horror series and may be the best of them all. The story is dark and disturbing. It is missing the cuteness that ruined some of the others in the series. The script is true to the original except the detective is given a happier home life so that he call fall even further during the story. There is a large amount of nudity and sexuality in this film. Had this been a theatrical release there would probably have been talk of an NC-17 rating for a couple of the scenes. All in all this is a very good horror film that gets to the viewer on multiple levels. Definitely check it out.

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Steven Weber of THE SHINING,THE STAND and DESPERATION stars as Frank Spivey, a detective who rescues a strange young girl (Carrie Anne Fleming) with a horribly disfigured face and lusciously ripe body from a deranged killer. But when Spivey takes responsibility for the mentally challenged orphan, she reveals herself to be a creature of untold carnal pleasures and unspeakable violent depravities that may lead him straight to hell. She is seductress, psychopath and succubus all in one…and her name is JENIFER. The legendary Dario Argento directs this jaw-dropper that features a haunting score by Claudio Simonetti of Goblin (DAWN OF THE DEAD,TENEBRE).

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Masters of Horror - John Carpenter & Stuart Gordon (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)"Cigarette Burns" is directed by horror legend John Carpenter, the creator of HALLOWEEN. "LA FIN ABSOLUE DU MONDE" (The Absolute end of the World)is the title of the most sought after horror movie in history. One man's obsession with finding the movie may become his demise.
This movie was very well done, and very inventive.
NOT MANY full length films are even close to the quality of this.
-----------------------------------
"Dreams in the Witch House", Gordon's movie, isn't as good, but puts a strange perspective on a new age ghost story. A man rents a cheap apartment so he can study, but he doesnt do much of that. He discovers evidence of a dimensional shift in his room.
Very bloody and caught me off guard.
The DVD combo pack is absolutly worth the time to watch...a horror fans' delight.

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Studio: Starz/spheRelease Date: 03/28/2006Rating: Nr

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Masters of Horror: Joe Dante - Homecoming (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)I'm amused by the reviews here--from either political side--that take this as anything more than what it is. IT IS A HIGHLY ENTERTAINING SATIRE! I do not ascribe to the political beliefs put forth by this piece, that has never been a prerequisite to good entertainment. But is it funny?--oh, YES! Highly recommended as one of the finest Masters of Horror segments. Whether your Republican, Democrat, or completely uninterested in politics--this is an amusing poke at the political process taken to absurd proportions. I swear it won't corrupt or subvert you.

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It’s a few weeks before the Presidential election and an unpopular war still rages overseas. But when the Republican administration wishes that our dead troops could return to tell America how proud they were to serve their country, veterans begin to rise from their flag-draped coffins for the most horrific reason of all: to vote.Are they gloriously resurrected heroes or braindead zombie dissidents? And even if the administration can devise the proper spin in time to steal their re-election, will an army of men and women killed for a lie finally show our nation the true face of hell? Jon Tenney (THE CLOSER), Thea Gill (QUEER AS FOLK) and Robert Picardo (STAR TREK:VOYAGER) star in this provocative stunner from director Joe Dante (GREMLINS,THE HOWLING, PIRANHA) that The Village Voice calls "jaw-dropping…easily one of the most important political films of the era!"

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Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)Fans of SF or horror who can wrap their heads around stories (and the films based on them) like Orwell's 1984 and Burgess' A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, who understand that such stories are meant as cautionary comments on contemporary society more than they are predictions, will appreciate Tobe Hooper's nihilistic "Dance of the Dead," the auteur's first-season entry for Showtime's MASTERS OF HORROR series. Hooper updates those classic cautionary tales to give the world a fresh glimpse into the post-apocalyptic future, this time through a computer-age lens tinted with goth and punk sensibilities.
Hooper's tight and visionary direction is supported by the outstanding cast and crew. Portraying Peggy, the audience's window into the grim future, beautiful Jessica Lowndes exudes unvitiated innocence as her character's eyes are newly opened to the reality of her world. Actor Jonathan Tucker is perfect as Jak, a brooding, introspective black-marketeer who struggles with guilt over the questionable ethics of his vocation. And horror icon Robert Englund's delightfully over-the-top performance as a grizzled, cynical nightclub MC--a sort of post-apocalyptic re-interpretation of Joel Grey's performance in CABARET (1972)--is itself worth the price of Anchor Bay's DVD. The script by Richard Christian Matheson, based on a short story by his famous father, is a literate, frighteningly nihilistic speculation on the post-nine-eleven possibilities that threaten our world. And the frenetic, multi-layered cinematography of Jon Joffin (enhanced by Andrew Cohen's the top-notch editing) perfectly complements the horrific, chaotic atmosphere and lifestyle of the potential future Hooper here depicts.
Any moviegoer who comprehends and enjoys SF-based horror will certainly come away satisfied after watching "Dance of the Dead." While not necessarily the best entry from the first season of MASTERS OF HORROR, it is a great mini-movie nonetheless, and it proves that director Tobe Hooper is, indeed, a master of the genre.
The excellent DVD from Anchor Bay is well worth the price of admission. It offers a pristine digital anamorphic transfer of the flick in its original aspect ratio of 1.77:1. In addition, there are over three hours of cool extras, including two commentary tracks (one featuring director Hooper and one with scripter Matheson), interviews with Tobe Hooper and the main actors, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and more! A fine addition to the film collection of any SF or horror fan.

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Studio: Starz/spheRelease Date: 09/25/2007Run time: 59 minutesRating: Nr

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Masters of Horror - Stuart Gordon - Dreams in the Witch House (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is an unusually good little horror flick, with those elements of utter wierdness that only Lovecraft adaptations seem to deliver on these days. This one is unusal for Lovecraft in that it somewhat ties into traditional Christian mythology.
I agree the library scene was almost incongrous and some backstory would have been welcome, especially something from the original story. But it was fairly faithful in spirit and though fairly slow in the beginning, has a truly horrific bang-up ending. I rate this one roughly between re-animator and the recent Dagon which I also liked a lot.

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When stressed-out student Walter Gilman (Ezra Godden of DAGON) rents a room in a decrepit old house, his graduate thesis studies begin to take some very strange twists: He suffers nightmares about a voracious rat with a human face. He suspects that a gateway to another dimension may exist behind his wall.And he is seemingly seduced by a luscious she-demon who thirsts for souls of the innocent via a covenant that screams for blood. But when Walter must face the most depraved urge of all, will the line between madness,murder and unholy mayhem be crossed forever? Chelah Horsdal (HOLLOW MAN 2) and Jay Brazeau (INSOMNIA,THEY) co-star in this disturbing shocker directed by Stuart Gordon, co-written by Gordon & Dennis Paoli (THE DENTIST, CASTLE FREAK) and based on the infamous short story by horror master H.P. Lovecraft

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Masters of Horror: Pelts (2006) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is my first Masters of Horror movie I watched due to such bad reviews of almost every one of them. I read good things about this one (hi Chris and M!) so I decided to pick it up. And boy am I glad I did. If you want to sit back and enjoy a good gore fest then I would definitely recommend this. Argento definitely does not hold back with the grossness. I haven't been happily goriefied in quite some time. And not only that... we are also blessed with a ton of nudity. So much nudity that I actually kind of felt bad about our main actress cause I think she was topless for about 90% of her scenes. And then we have Meatloaf. You can never go wrong when Man-Boob Bob is in your movie. He played his part wonderfully in Pelts as a horny, sleazy, and uncaring fur coat maker looking for a big paycheck.
Oh... the story is about some raccoons with some guardian spirits in them. They die and get skinned. But their guardian spirits live on and get revenge. Sounds dumb I know, but the story isn't THAT bad. But, like porn, are you really watching this for the story or are you watching this for something else!


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Masters of Horror - John Carpenter - Cigarette Burns (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is actually the very first work from John Carpenter since "The Thing" to scare me at all. I was eleven when "The Thing" blew me away with its gore, violence, and creepy horror, but ever since then it seemed as though his films were getting more and more cheesy. Even "In the Mouth of Madness" which I enjoyed for its Lovecraft-style themes and mood was more surreal than scary. "Cigarette Burns" is both surreal and scary, with dark underlying religious tones. There is the running undercurrent during the story of the fear of the unknown, or the unearthed secret and/or creation that should remain hidden for the sake of all mankind. Themes that are undeniably Lovecraft. I actually did not have a problem with the acting at all, I was simply too enthralled with the mystery and eventual horrifying climax to even notice. The heart of the mystery is incredibly original and thought-provoking, the journey absolutely worth taking. With so many bad horror films coming out these days it is incredibly refreshing to see a true Master of Horror show these young twerps just how it should be done. Even if it is just a short film. Excellent.

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Film is magic. And in the right hands, it can be a weapon. For on-the-ropes movie programmer Kirby Sweetman (Norman Reedus of THE BOONDOCK SAINTS and BLADE II), the holy grail of cinema is LE FIN ABSOLUE DU MONDE, a legendary lost movie whose sole showing was rumored to have driven its audience to a homicidal frenzy. But as Kirby gets closer to the truth about the film, he’s sucked into a private hell of grisly hallucinations and brutal acts of violence. Now the only surviving print of the film is within his grasp… and the most horrific screening of all is about to begin. Udo Kier (SUSPIRIA,THE KINGDOM) co-stars in this gore-drenched mind-blower written by Drew McWeeny & Scott Swan, and directed by horror legend John Carpenter, the creator of THE THING,THE FOG, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK,THEY LIVE and HALLOWEEN.

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Masters of Horror: Fair Haired Child (2006) Review

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Wow is about all I can say, because this movie is so good it left me speechless. I watch LOTS of horror movies, read horror books, research hauntings, and even read horror comics. It takes a lot to impress me because 99 times out of 100, I've seen it before. The Fair Haired Child blew my socks off.
Not only is this movie artfully crafted and skillfully directed, the special effects are killer. Some scenes I immediately watched again, just to catch every second of the chilling graphics. The storyline is demented, twisted, and oh so evil. The acting also doesn't disappoint in the least (who doesn't love Lori Petty?) The monster of the film is grotesque and Lovecraftian. Everything here is perfection. Normally with a running time of just under an hour -in this case, 55 minutes- you might feel cheated. However, in this case, everything about the movie is so spot on you don't mind the short time. Besides, the short time means you can watch it again right away, which is what I did.
I can't recommend this movie enough. It is trite and childish to say this deserves 8 out of 5 stars, but it does. If you are a horror fan at all, please, treat yourself to a viewing of this film. You will NOT be disappointed.
Highest possible recommendations to all horror movie buffs!!!!


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Deep within the desperate hearts of the bereaved, there is a pact with the forces of darkness that demands new blood to resurrect the souls of the dead. Lori Petty ( A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN and TANK GIRL) stars as a grieving mother with a remote estate, a ghastly secret, and a locked basement where abducted teen outcasts await an evil that feasts upon their virgin flesh. But to satisfy a parent’s depraved bargain, the beast must feed one final time. And tonight, the ultimate horror will begin for those who do not heed the hunger of THE FAIR HAIRED CHILD. Lindsay Pulsipher and William Samples co-star in this relentlessly creepy saga scripted by Matt Greenberg (HALLOWEEN H20, REIGN OF FIRE) and directed by William Malone that The Horror Channel calls "a perfect dark fairy tale…one of the most solid and impressive episodes to dateDVD Features:Widescreen Presentation,AUDIO COMMENTARY WITH WRITER MATT GREENBERG AND DIRECTOR WILLIAM MALONE,BEHIND THE SCENES: THE MAKING OF THE FAIR HAIRED CHILD,DVD-ROM: SCREEN SAVER OVER 3 HOURS OF BONUS FEATURESDVD-ROM: SCREENPLAY,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH JESSE HADDOCK,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH LINDSAY PULSIPHER,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH LORI PETTY,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH WILLIAM SAMPLESSCENES FROM WILLIAM MALONE'S FIRST SHORT FILM,STILL GALLERY,THE FACE OF FEAR: AN INTERVIEW WITH WILLIAM MALONE,TRAILERS,WILLIAM MALONE BIO,WORKING WITH A MASTER: WILLIAM MALONE

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Masters of Horror: Deer Woman (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)I have always loved John Landis. His contributions to the horror genre have been minimal, but just from those few films(American Werewolf specifically, though Innocent Blood was very cool and very underrated), Landis definitely earns the "Master Of Horror" title. Hell, he's pretty much a household name for horror fans based on the strength of Werewolf alone. It makes you wish he had made more horror films. Well, the Masters Of Horror series wisely chose him for one of their episodes, and we finally get another Landis horror offering. While most of the series' episodes tone down humor and go for the throat, Landis lightens things up a bit, and who could expect anything else from him? As for story, it's another human/beast theme, but this time digging into Native American mythology for it's monster. This is an odd, yet very cool concept. Basically it's a ghostlike woman from Native American folklore that's drop dead gorgeous, half deer, seductive and deadly. This mythical figure is put into the modern and logical thinking world where, realistically, her killings are investigated by police and forensic science. Landis has comedy is his veins, so the film is full of clever quips and oddball characters. It also manages some moments of suspense and has a bit of graphic gore thrown in to remind us that this is indeed a horror series. The featurettes are a real treat. Landis has always been an entertaining interviewee. Very energetic, funny, truthful and not afraid to swear. He seems like a helluva fun guy to hang out with. He's serious about what he does, yet never takes himself too seriously. His philosophy on horror and comedy and the mixing of the two is dead on. He truly knows how to make a ridiculous concept(he admits himself that the Deer Woman thing is downright silly) work by being serious when it's called for and schlocking it up when necessary. He also makes a very valid point about how supernatural themes don't always need an explanation for why they're happening-that when dealing with fantastic ideas, there isn't a need to do so much explaining(I wish Hollywood directors would take note of that). This applies in Deer Woman, coz she just is what she is, and never once do we figure out why she kills guys. And anyway, who cares why? We may never see another full length horror film from Landis, but this short film is a real treat for those of us who want a little taste again of what it was like the first time you saw American Werewolf and became a John Landis fan. Great stuff.

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Detective Dwight Faraday (Brian Benben) is a burntout cop demoted to the ‘weird calls’ desk until a series of bizarre murders suddenly grabs his attention: Several men killed by massive blunt force trauma while in a state of sexual arousal, all last seen in the company of a sexy Native American woman (Cinthia Moura). But when it’s discovered that these corpses were trampled into hamburger by what appear to be hooves, Faraday must hunt a killer who may not be totally human.Will one cynical cop be caught like a deer in the headlights or has a horrifying seductress risen from legend to slaughter the horny?Anthony Griffith co-stars in this erotic horror comedy co-written and directed by John Landis (ANIMAL HOUSE,THE BLUES BROTHERS) and featuring grisly gore effects by Gregory Nicotero & Howard Berger (KILL BILL, LAND OF THE DEAD, CHRONICLES OF NARNIA).

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Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs (2006) Review

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(More customer reviews)Mick Garris may have created Masters of Horror, but the director's (and frequent adaptor of Stephen King tales to the small screen) work for the show hasn't been anything to write home about so far. Valerine on the Stairs, based on a Clive Barker tale, finds a haunted writer (Tyron Leisto) moving into an eccentric building community, only to find things further haunted still. The sole reason to check this episode out is the great Christopher Lloyd, who provides the kind of enjoyable, crazed performance we've come to expect from the wonderful actor. The gorgeous, and frequently naked, Clare Grant plays the titular title role of the episode, and genre stalwart Tony "Candyman" Todd plays a ghoulish role, but Valerie on the Stairs ends up falling flat. Garris' direction is uninspired, and the episode as a whole just moves along too slow with little suspense, and even smaller payoff. The gore effects are decent, but don't make any impact until too late in the episode. The overall result ends up being pretty lame, which is a shame because the potential was ripe here. All in all, Valerine on the Stairs is a disappointing installment of the Masters of Horror series, and while it's worth a look at least for fans of the show, it's not worth picking up and adding to your library unless you're a completist.

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Masters of Horror - John Mcnaughton - Haeckel's Tale (2006) Review

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(More customer reviews)So in loving all the rest of the Masters of horror movies, and being a HUGE fan of clive barkers... this was a pretty easy decision to pick this up. I had no idea what to expect, not seeing a trailer for it anywhere and only going off of the artwork and premise from the dvd. But this adaption of a Clive Barker story tells the tale of a man who visits an old woman who is told to be able to bring the dead to life. She convinces the man that if he still wants his wife back at the end of her story, she will do just that. Then the story begins...
It concerns a man named Ernst Haeckel who (very similiar to Frankenstein) beleives that God has no part in death and that he can make the dead rise. In failing numerous times, he hears of a man who can make the dead rise through black magic.. a necromancer. He visits this man and still not convinced, visits him again to confront him of his power. This does not go over well, and he is left to his own devices.
After receiving news of his fathers illness, Heackel leaves to see him.. on his way he is brought in by an old man and his young wife. The wife is very beautiful and the man is in his 60's. Soemthing does not seem right and then the wife in the middle of the night leaves towards the "necropolis" to meet up with the necromancer whom her husband paid to have her dead husband brought back to her.
Without spoiling too much of it, I'll just say this... you wont know what hit you in the end and if you enjoy a good zombie movie, then this one might be up your alley. George A. Romero also was involved in the making of this film if that tells you anything.
All in all, I enjoy period pieces and Frankenstein is one of my all time favorite classic movies. I would recommend this to anyone who has enjoyed both Clives stories and the MOH series. The only thing that I found not to my liking was the end was a little creepy-sappy, but once you see it... you'll know what I mean.
enjoy!


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In a time when the laws of science battled the secrets of magic, medical student Ernst Haeckel (Derek Cecil) believes the power of life, death and resurrection lay in his arrogant hands. But on a journey to visit his gravely ill father, he finds shelter in the home of an older man and his seductive young wife (Leela Savasta) who cannot be fulfilled by mortal hungers. Somewhere in the darkness of a nearby necropolis, a defiant necromancer (Jon Polito of BARTON FINK, MILLER’S CROSSING) will now summon them all to an orgy of the undead and unleash the ultimate depravity for those who do not heed the warning of HAECKEL’S TALE.Directed by John McNaughton in association with horror legend George A. Romero, this startling mix of erotic desire and gut-ripping horror is adapted by series creator/executive producer Mick Garris from the short story by Clive Barker. DVD Features:Widescreen Presentation enhanced for 16x9 TVs,AUDIO COMMENTARY WITH DIRECTOR JOHN MCNAUGHTON,BEHIND THE SCENES: THE MAKING OF HAECKEL'S TALE,BREAKING TABOOS: AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHN MCNAUGHTON,DVD-ROM: SCREEN SAVER,DVD-ROM: SCREENPLAY,JOHN MCNAUGHTON BIO,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH DEREK CECIL,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH JON POLITO,ON SET: AN INTERVIEW WITH LEELA SAVASTA,SCRIPT TO SCREEN: HAECKEL'S TALE,STILL GALLERY,STORYBOARD GALLERY,TRAILERS,WORKING WITH A MASTER: JOHN MCNAUGHTON

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Masters of Horror: We All Scream for Ice Cream (2007) Review

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(More customer reviews)This is one of the episodes from season 2 of "Masters of Horror." Years ago a bunch of kids played a prank on a good-natured but mentally-challenged ice cream truck driver, which resulted in his accidental death. Now the kids are grown up, and the driver is back for revenge with his killer ice cream.
All I can say is, stock, stock, stock. I know killer clowns long fell into the campy horror category, but nothing about this show seems inspired or original. The most obvious rip-off would be Stephen King's "It," but name anything with mind-controlled children, childhood friends confronting evil, or spirits back for revenge, and you'll find something much more compelling than this. Some of the effects are decent, such as when a victim dies in a tub, but there are no scares and there's little tension. The acting is about average.
Maybe I'm missing the point. Not all Masters of Horror stories are meant to be scary, and some are deliberately campy (season 1's Deer Woman). But this one just seems to subscribe to the worst of the genre without offering any cleverness. Avoid.

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Masters of Horror: The Washingtonians (2007) Review

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(More customer reviews)Based on a Bentley Little short story, The Washingtonians is an often amusing episode of Masters of Horror that puts a new kind of spin on the founding fathers. What if George Washington was a cult leader of child eating cannibals? That's what Mike (Johnathon Schaech) finds out after accidentally uncovering a hidden letter behind a portrait that was written by Washington himself, and soon enough he's being hunted by present day followers of Washington's ways, that will do anything to keep their secrets safe. The more ridiculous that The Washingtonians gets, the better it gets for the most part, and when it borderlines on complete and utter absurdity before the credits start to roll. Directed by the often underrated Peter Medak (The Changeling, Species II), The Washingtonians is nevertheless gory, enjoyable, and entertaining, and in those respects alone, that's all that really matters. All in all, as long as you don't take it too seriously, The Washingtonians is an amusing ride.

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Masters of Horror: Imprint (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)Having viewed the entire "Masters of Horror" series, I was curious to see this episode that was "Banned From Cable Broadcast." It seems pretty silly in this day and age that something is "banned" from pay TV, and it's not as if Takeshi Miike doesn't have his films shown over here! But, OK, whatever. Miike is a colorful director who specialize in squeamish, sometimes graphic, torture horror. Probably his biggest film stateside is "Audition" which is certainly noteworthy, but my personal favorite is the bizarre musical "Happiness of the Katakuris" (currently out of print, but worth locating if you like absurd comedy).
So on to "Imprint." I'm pleased to say that "Imprint" is actually one of the stronger entries in the series. And seeing how dismal the first couple of episodes in season 2 are (it is currently broadcasting), I'm disappointed this wasn't made available. As the story begins, we're traveling down a river of death to an island of demons and prostitutes--and I was scared this episode would rapidly devolve into supernatural mumbo jumbo. It settles, however, into a two character drama with one of the disfigured prostitutes relating the story of the visitor's lost love. It's a fascinating tale that continues to evolve the more the guest presses for the truth. And the revelations are satisfying, if bizarre. I enjoyed this lurid tale very much.
Along the way, we get torture and plenty of abortions--and I suppose that is the controversial nature of this film (the abortions, I mean--violence is never controversial). No one, however, watching "Masters of Horror" would be the least bit put out by these scenes. If you are expecting something you've never seen before--there's nothing in "Imprint" that going to particularly shock you. But that said, it is definitely an accomplished and disturbing tale worth taking a look at. KGHarris, 11/06.

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Studio: Starz/spheRelease Date: 09/25/2007Run time: 63 minutesRating: Nr

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Masters of Horror - Don Coscarelli - Incident on and off a Mountain Road (2005) Review

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(More customer reviews)Although it was the first episode of MASTERS OF HORROR to air on Showtime when the series debuted in October 2005, director Don Coscarelli's "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" is the fourth series segment to be released on DVD. And it is also one of the best of the series thus far (series one has ended, but the show is expected to continue for at least one more season). Longtime genre fans will recognize the name Coscarelli, of course, as he is the writer/director of the classic horror flick PHANTASM (1979) and its sequels, director and co-writer of the sword-and-sorcery fantasy THE BEASTMASTER (1982), and the writer/director of the more contemporary horror-comedy cult favorite BUBBA HO-TEP (2002).
An adaptation of the short story by genre author Joe R. Lansdale--who also wrote the story on which BUBBA HO-TEP was based--"Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" is an interesting, fresh take on the girl-chased-through-the-woods slasher-type flick, one with a very wry twist at the end. It stars cute actress Bree Turner (some genre fans my recognize her from 2005's JEKYLL + HYDE) as Ellen, a young woman who has an auto accident late one night while driving through the rural mountains of Oregon. After crawling from the wreckage and trying to assess the damage, Ellen quickly finds herself pursued by a hulking mountain-dwelling madman (John De Santis, familiar to horror fans from his role as Lurch in the short-lived late-1990s TV series THE NEW ADDAMS FAMILY). But Ellen is no ordinary damsel in distress. Through occasional flashbacks, it is revealed that her ex-husband was an obsessive survivalist and that he forced her to participate in his training sessions. And as a result, Ellen has a few tricks up her sleeve that just may help her outwit her brutish pursuer and survive the night.
As is, Lansdale's original story rises way above the cliche of its slasher roots, but the script by Coscarelli and his co-writer, Stephen Romano, ratchet it up even higher by adding some elements only hinted at by Lansdale. This enables Coscarelli, as director, to create a 60-minute visual ride that is dense with layers of thrills, suspense, and shocks that lesser directors would have trouble fitting into a two-hour flick. Of course, he is helped by the outstanding acting abilities of Turner, whose talent allows her to convincingly vacillate between vulnerability and strength, as well as the intense performance from Ethan Embry (who plays Ellen's ex-husband in flashback sequences) and the skills and menacing presence of De Santis. Even Coscarelli's old friend Angus Scrimm--who became a genre icon playing the Tall Man in the classic PHANTASM series--makes a delightfully quirky appearance.
The DVD edition of "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" offers a pristine digital transfer of the filmic series episode in anamorphic widescreen at its original aspect ratio of 1.77:1. And as is almost always the case with discs from the cool folks at Anchor Bay, the DVD is chockful with bonus features. This one has TWO commentaries--one featuring writer/director Coscarelli and co-writer Romano (moderated by Anchor Bay's Perry Martin); the other with Coscarelli and author Joe R. Lansdale--an interview with Coscarelli; a documentary on Coscarelli's genre career; a special-effects featurette (hidden in an "Easter egg"); and lots more! It's well worth amazon.com's reasonable price of admission.
All in all, "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" is a top-notch entry in Mick Garris' MASTERS OF HORROR series, and it leaves no doubt as to why Don Coscarelli was one of the first directors chosen to participate. But even apart from the series and despite its short runtime of 60 minutes, the episode itself easily stands alone as a masterpiece of horror film, and it is sure to become a genre classic. So even those rare horror fans not impressed by the overall TV series should seriously consider adding this flick to their collections.

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