I Know Who Killed Me (2007) Review

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(More customer reviews)Brainy student Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) disappears one night after a football game. She's found days later, barely alive and horribly mutilated. She doesn't recognize her parents or her name - she insists she's a stripper named Dakota. She goes home with Aubrey's parents to recuperate but is oddly uncooperative with the police investigation, claiming she never saw her kidnapper. She starts having strange dreams, violent flashes of an attack she doesn't remember.
This film has all the earmarks of a low-budget shockfest: pointless nudity, slashing violence, and dialogue that is so corny it's laughable. The script is so convoluted and wacky that when I wasn't covering my eyes from the gore, I was rolling them at the dumb things the characters did and said (the crew from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 would have had a field day with this flick).
I'm sure none of the actors will want to put this film on their resumes. Lohan doesn't put much effort into her acting but does wear an excessive amount of eye make-up and Julia Ormond (Legends of the Fall) is wasted as her long-suffering mother. The worst part of it is that the villain's motive is never explained (don't blink or you'll miss the perp altogether). "I Know..." has sickeningly graphic torture, the dullest pole-dance ever filmed, and a ludicrous plot. For strong stomachs only.

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Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) was living the small town life, until the day she was abducted by a sadistic killer. After a frantic search, Aubrey turns up alive, but changed. She is missing limbs, but has gained a new personality - that of bad girl Dakota Moss. Her parents and the FBI think she’s suffering from delusions, but if Dakota is just a trick of her mind, why do strange wounds keep appearing on her body? Desperate and alone, Aubrey must now unlock family secrets to unmask a mysterious killer with a deadly obsession.

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Life-Size (2000) Review

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(More customer reviews)Two things happened on the way to what was meant to be a typically upbeat, light-hearted, happy-ending Disney production. First, they gave it a poignant, very human story-line: the difficulties a man and his daughter have in coping with the traumatic death of his wife and her mother. Second, they cast Lindsay Lohan as the thirteen year old daughter. The ability to bring depth to a character in a lighthearted comedy is perhaps as much or greater a challenge than in a serious drama (check out Roddy McDowell's performance as the butler in "Overboard"). Miss Lohan has accomplished this twice in as many movie roles - or should I say three times, considering the two subtly different personalities she carved out of the twins in "Parent Trap". In "Life-size" she brought life to a doll, but more important she brought life to what could easily have been an adolescent stereotype. The control she has over her facial expressions is fantastic. A light roll of the eyes, a krinkle at the corner of her mouth, a guilty grin open up little windows that bring reality to the heart of her character. It's worth the price of the video to experience the sparkle of Tyra Banks, the sensitivity of Jere Burns, but most of all to witness another example of Lindsay Lohan's masterful acting talent. Buy it or rent it, but see "Life Size".

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This dazzling comic fantasy stars popular Lindsay Lohan (THE PARENT TRAP) and top fashion model Tyra Banks (HIGHER LEARNING) in a delightfully entertaining tale of a young girl's toy that turns out to be a truly living doll! Sad and lonely after the death of her mother, Casey (Lohan) would do anything to see her again. But when a series of mystic mishaps mistakenly bring her fasion doll "Eve" (Banks) to life instead, it changes Casey's world forever! Heartwarming and lots of fun, the magical story of this happy accident captures a spirit your family will want to relive again and again!

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A Prairie Home Companion (2006) Review

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(More customer reviews)I wish I'd said this: A Prairie Home Companion is a lovely film about death, and with some great bad jokes. Death and how we deal with it drifts through the film like a dream, but it turns out to be real. Word has gotten around that the 30-year-old radio program is giving its last show. The theater where it has been broadcast from all these years has been sold and will be turned into a parking lot. A woman in a white trench coat moves dream-like through the place, searching for a person whose time has come, and then finds him. And then she finds another. Memories of past successes are talked about, but sometimes not. Reminiscences are wept over or laughed over. The backstage emergencies happen and are dealt with and the radio show goes on. It's just a marvelous movie. People who dislike the actual A Prairie Home Companion will probably not like this movie. Those who do like the radio show I'm sure are going to run out and buy the DVD of the movie as soon as it's available.
Garrison Keillor is not center stage so much as he's the imperturbable head guy who isn't always there, even when he's there. Most of the regular members of the radio show are present, as well as some new names. Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep are incredibly authentic and incredibly funny/poignant as the two remaining members, Rhonda and Yolanda Johnson, of a country-music family singing group. Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly are great as the dim cowboys, Lefty and Dusty. Their bad-jokes song is one of the highlights. Guy Noir looking like Kevin Kline tries to keep a lid on the crises. Streep and Tomlin (and Harrelson and Reilly) sing their own stuff and they are first class. Tomlin, in particular, gives a terrific performance as Rhonda, tough, funny, a little bitter and a trooper.
After 105 minutes you may find death not too frightening, may find a kind of comforting acceptance of life, and may find funny some awful jokes...like the name of the country song Lefty sang on last week's show, "I'll Give You My Moonshine If You Show Me Your Jugs." Or a great new wheezer, "Did you hear about the crate of Viagra that was stolen?" "No! Who took it?" "The cops don't know but they're looking for hardened criminals."
I also wish I'd said this, from the New York Times: A Prairie Home Companion isn't great, it's wonderful.

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A LOOK AT WHAT GOES ON BACKSTAGE DURING THE LAS BROADCAST OF AMERICA'S MOST CELEBRATED RADIO SHOW, WHERE SINGING COWBOYS DUSTY & LEFTY, A COUNTRY MUSIC SIREN & A HOST OF OTHERS HOLD COURT.

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