12/23/2011

Puppetmaster vs. Demonic Toys (2004) Review

Puppetmaster vs. Demonic Toys (2004)
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Look I know Full Moon went under but who knew that the next time we'd see the Puppet Master dolls it would be this awful? The plot is worse than even the worst of the Puppet Master original series titles, the acting makes the Full Moon actors look like Oscar Winners and the puppets aren't even close to the real deal!
I guess the easiest question I have is, Why even buy the rights to a franchise if you're not going to use the signatures of the franchise in the first film you make with it? Blade, Six Shooter, Jester, Pinhead are replicated in this movie so poorly it looks as if an 8 year old art student made them. Pinhead's hands even appear to be clay.
Worse is the movements. They don't have any of the fluent movements that were trademark to how the puppets looked real and there are scenes where there are massive amounts of strings showing everywhere. It's embarrassing to say the least.
The puppets weren't talkers before but they made sounds. This time they were completely mute. I wish I could have said the same for Corey Feldman who used to know how to act but in this movie comes off so over the top it's impossible to care about him or feel any sense of empathy for his character oncesoever. Most of the time you're wishing you had a gun to shoot yourself with so you could end his speaking parts.
The Demonic Toys look different and if possible even more cheap than before also. Full Moon might not have had the greatest actors, scripts or special effects but they usually spent a sufficient amount of time, money and energy on making the dolls (the stars of their movies) look good.
There is another small glitch in this movie that will annoy the fans of the Puppet Master franchise. Somehow Toulon's blood is needed for the formula to keep the dolls alive. The formula is now injected into holes in the back of the puppet's necks. For casual fans this is not a big deal, for longtime fans they know Toulon's blood had nothing to do with the formula and in part Three Toulon clearly injects them in the front of the neck area in a way that made it clear that as long as they got an injection, the puppets were fine.
Vanessa Angel is not a bad actress and has a million dollar body but she's stuck in a role and a movie that screams "I just want to collect a paycheck".
The Puppet Master theme music is blatantly absent as is the entire feel of the Full Moon series. The actors are horrible and seem to have to pause through lines in order to spit out the script they were supposed to remember and although the Demonic Toys franchise is much smaller I'm sure their fans felt disrespected by how marginalized their toys were to Angel's character, Sharpe.
Full Moon had this project announced before they folded. If only they had completed this then and not let Sci Fi skimp and cheat their way into trashing two beloved cult franchises with one movie that is so blatantly bad that it even loses the appeal of goofy and cheesy that so many second and third rate horror films fall into.
Avoid at all costs if you like either series.

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It’s the night before Christmas Eve, and oddball inventor Robert Toulon (Corey Feldman of THE GOONIES and STAND BY ME) has discovered his great granduncle’s formula for reanimating the master’s lethal puppets: Six-Shooter, Jester, Blade and Pinhead. Meanwhile, diabolical industrialist Erica Sharpe (Vanessa Angel of KINGPIN and WEIRD SCIENCE) is finalizing her satanic plan for unleashing her father’s foul-mouthed, blood-guzzling toys upon the world’s underprivileged children. But even if Toulon can give the puppets a deadly cyber makeover and stop the blood sacrifice of his daughter, can he still prevent the coming Christmas carnage? Playtime is over: Get ready for the final battle between the ultimate titans of toy terror!

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